Keizer’s Conservative Clown Car Fuels Up for November Election

Power struggle reveals fractures among local Republican dingdongs

If you haven’t face-palmed at least once by the time you’re done reading this absolute insane account of what’s happening in Keizer right-wing politics…I’m just going to assume your hands are otherwise occupied. Because this shit is, in fact, bananas.

Here’s how this works. Unless you are on the inside, you’d never know any of this was happening. I, to be super clear, am not on the inside. But, you and I actually have a friend who is, let’s say…”inside-adjacent.”

The picture he paints is…grim is probably too strong. Because it’s also humorous in a these-can’t-possibly-be-the-people-in-charge kinda way. Honestly if the Keizer City Council meetings had a soundtrack, it would be the Benny Hill theme song. The whole thing is also profoundly sad because a small group of powerful people are steering Keizer towards a wall, but they think the obvious cartoonish-painted opening is real because their brains are exhausted from making America great again. 

So…maybe grim is the right word?

OK, some context. Republicans dominate politics in Keizer. Varying flavors of conservative occupy 5 seats on City Council plus the Mayor’s seat - a 6-pack of disappointment ranging from civic-minded moderate to batshit full-MAGA moron. The last city councilor? That’s our friend I mentioned earlier. Think of him as our narrator.

What song do you hear when you see this picture? It’s the Benny Hill theme song, no? Is that just me?

His name is Robert Husseman. Have I not mentioned that yet? He might be the only progressive elected official in the entire city of Keizer. But, yeah…Keizer City Councilor Robert Husseman. He’s a bit of a thorn in the side of the ruling political class in Keizer. And, just between us, it’s fucking hilarious. And pretty righteous, too - because Husseman is unshakeable in his focus on serving all of Keizer and not just the portion that agrees with him politically (buuuuuuuuuurrrn).

Take, for example, the February 20, 2024, Keizer City Council meeting. That’s actually the setting for this story. 

Have I said that yet? So, imagine yourself sitting in the Keizer City Council chambers. Absolutely drenched in fluorescent light. Maybe you’ve eaten 10 mg of THC and are kinda feeling the tan/brown angular vibe of the room. Me? No, I didn’t do that. I’m just saying…if someone did. It certainly couldn’t hurt.

Keizer Mayor Cathy Clark was absent. Why would I lead with that detail? Because it’s going to end up being incredibly important, you absolute dingdong.

So Mayor Clark is absent and Keizer City Councilor Dan Kohler has waited nearly three hours into the meeting to spring a trap. Not a trap, really. More like when you step on a metal rake and the handle pops up to blast you in the face. Whatever that’s called.

Remember how most of the City Council is very conservative?

They are on a mission to starve local government of resources and create what Husseman calls “basically a police force with a city attached.” That’s not how they’re selling it, of course. They would claim to be fighting to keep costs down for residents…except costs associated with police. Don’t fucking touch the police department. In fact, give them more money. That seems to be their alter of ideological worship - the sacred, militarized police department barely scraping by on 53% OF ALL PUBLIC FUNDING IN KEIZER. That’s more than half, for the conservatives still rage-reading.

So Dan gets his rake set up perfectly. During the end of the City Council meeting, he blurts out that he’d like to reconsider a vote taken at the previous Council meeting - when he voted “yes” to successfully create a work session to study dueling conservative plans to throttle city revenue in Keizer. 

In Dan’s defense, it’s hard to tell if he actually knows what he’s doing. Or if he’s just reading something someone handed him. But he stumbled through his request to reconsider the vote. Our friend Husseman, by the way, voted “no” in the previous City Council meeting against holding a work session - because he believes, rightly so, that it’s a tremendously short-sighted and irresponsible thing to do to make it near impossible for Keizer to fund a fully-functioning government.

Dan Kohler thinks that Husseman will vote “no” again. 

But Husseman knows something none of the others seem to realize. 

There are going to be two votes. 

And Husseman is actually going to vote yes both times. 

And it’s going to set the conservative effort to eliminate city fees and cripple the City’s ability to raise revenue aaallllllll the way back to start. 

See - Dan has now stomped on the rake and, predictably, it has snapped up to clock him in the face.

But before you fall in love with the minutiae of Robert’s Rules of Order, aren’t you curious why it matters so much that this right-wing fee elimination effort was procedurally rebooted?

Of course you’re curious! That’s what we love about you! 

But seriously, here’s where the crazy-meter starts hitting double digits on this story. 

Husseman’s gambit as a strategic swing vote delays an initiative largely seen as a centerpiece topic in Keizer conservative politics. The Mayor’s seat is on the ballot in November 2024, along with three City Council seats - Laura Reid (not running for re-election); Shaney Starr (being groomed for Mayor) and Kyle Juran (mad about his own unethical behavior and threatening to run again).

Behind the scenes, though, getting through to November might be a bumpy ride for Keizer conservatives. 

The Oregon State Ethics Commission found cause to investigate Juran after Council colleagues handed him a quarter-million dollar city construction contract. He’s reportedly not having a good time with that.

Mayor Clark is increasingly seen as NOT MAGA ENOUGH for some Keizer far-right folks. AND she dared contemplate challenging Salem-Keizer School Board quitter and current Marion County Commissioner Danielle Bethell for her seat.

Bethell reportedly repaid Clark for her interest in the form of a recruiting a challenger for her own Mayor’s seat in Keizer. Adding to the sting of that rebuke - the challenger is former 4x Keizer Mayor Lore Christopher, also largely viewed as Mayor Clark’s mentor. And the crux of her candidacy is to run even further to the right of Clark. Fucking boomers.

Mayor Clark’s campaign to retain her seat has now turned from shoo-in to oh-shit. And, Husseman tells us Clark was planning on using this fee reduction effort to prove her conservative mettle to an increasingly feckless constituency determined to find the next dumb idea to latch onto. But Clark seemed to have had her dumb idea timed to hatch in the days before the November election - a signal to Keizer that she is the best right-wing demagogue to keep the job. And, in theory, fending off a Bethell-fueled challenger.

From Husseman:

“(Clark) has already scheduled out work sessions into the summer, and she wants to hold a fee elimination work session after Keizer's council/mayoral filing deadline in August. That way, the political field is set, she comes out looking like a winner of public policy and compromise, she knows who does or does not publicly file, and she breathes easier politically.”

But there’s only so many City Council meetings between now and the thick of campaign season. And Husseman’s swing-vote strategy as the sole progressive on the Keizer City Council just reset the clock on a legislative process that began in mid-January 2024. 

See, Husseman seemed to be the only one who knew there would be two votes in response to Keizer City Councilor Dan Kohler’s brilliant self-ensnaring trap.

One to approve reconsidering the previous meeting’s vote to schedule work sessions. And another to actually vote on scheduling the work session again. Tie votes, in this case, mean failure. 

Remember that Mayor Clark is absent. And she and some others are counting on Husseman to vote no on the reconsideration vote. After all, he’s opposed the fee elimination scheme all along. And his no vote would be a Starr/Reid/Husseman tie with yes votes Kohler/Juran/Soraida Cross - denying Kohler’s attempt to reconsider and keeping the project alive and on track for a political season’s worth of work sessions.

Except Husseman votes “yes” on reconsidering the vote to set a work session on this extreme far-right proposal to effectively defund the Keizer government - passing the motion to reconsider by a 4-3 vote. And all of the sudden, they have to vote on the work session again - the second vote it seems most people didn’t know would occur. And this time, Mayor Clark isn’t around as the vote needed to keep her political passion project on track.

Minutes after his first “yes” vote, Husseman then joins Councilors Starr and Reid to cast another “yes” vote to create a 3-3 tie - and, as we’re all very aware of at this point, ties equal defeat - on whether to schedule work sessions. The conservative Keizer City Council failed to advance the fee elimination scheme (that they all agreed on, in principle) even to a very preliminary discussion phase.

And with that failure, Keizer Mayor Clark’s fee reduction scheme went from on schedule and on track to help her ingratiate herself with Keizer’s cadre of MAGA goons…back to square one.

To recap - Some far-right dingdongs want to fast-track an extreme effort to starve Keizer government of funding to provide services. The less far-right dingdongs want to do roughly the same thing, but want to drag it out longer so they can score political points. And while lost in their own fog of collective narcissism and self-interest, they fumbled the whole thing and got sent back to the start.

Meanwhile, by-the-fucking-way, city initiatives that would actually help normal Keizerites are apparently being held hostage to the political ambitions of a few desperate incumbents. From Husseman:

“(Mayor) Cathy (Clark) and (Keizer City Council President) Shaney (Starr) have weaponized the sidewalk program -- the top long-term goal of the Keizer city council. In my insistence for immediate action on sidewalks in Keizer, they have informed me separately that I just don't get it and that their political needs come first. Their top political priority is also minimizing the ability of the city of Keizer to fund city services, timed to maximize their political gains. The end result does nothing to improve dangerous conditions that vulnerable Keizerites are exposed to daily.”

Y’all know we deserve better than this. These folks are playing politics and soothing their own fragile egos while the working class is coughing up the public funding get bare bones (or less) in terms of services. No affordable housing. No public library. Ailing parks inching towards privatization. 

Tons of cops, though. And those goofy cow cutouts near the field where the cows used to graze on Chemawa and Verda. Replaced, by the way, with….new housing very few in Keizer could actually afford. You get the idea.